LSG Holidays

Dear LSG Friends,

In case you haven’t noticed, the Holiday Season is in full swing!

Here are some upcoming dates to plan for:

Tomorrow (11/12):           FPU Week 8, Real Estate and Mortgages

                                                [Supper, Video, and Discussion]

Thursday 11/19:                FPU Week 9, The Great Misunderstanding

                                                [Supper, Video, and Discussion]

Saturday 11/21:                 LSG Family Thanksgiving Dinner, 6:00p (Bring the Kids!)

Saturday 11/28:                 Man Night

Sunday 11/29:                   Ladies’ Holiday Craft Party

Thursday 11/26:                Thanksgiving Day!                   

Thursday 12/3:                  Small Group: Chili & Game Night

Thursday 12/10:                Off Week

Saturday 12/12:                 LSG Holly Jolly Christmas, 6:00 (Adults Only if Possible)  

Thursday 12/17:                Small Group: The Best is Yet to Come

Thursday 12/24:                Christmas Eve! 

Thursday 12/31:                New Years Eve!

Thursday 1/7:                    Resume Every-Other Week Schedule, Start New Series!

Potty Training and Pizza

On a muggy Tuesday evening in the middle of August, my family and I pull up to the nearly vacant parking lot of our local Chuck E. Cheese's. School started the day before, and no self-respecting parent would take their children to a pizza-smelling, germ-infested, neon-glowing arcade of awesomeness on a school-night. So why are we here? First, our kids are 2 and 3 years old, so school nights be damned, for now. Second, we aren't self-respecting. Third, Avery (our 3 year old) pooped in the potty (as opposed to in his pants), so a celebration is in order. Therefore, I park the family vehicle in the nearly vacant lot, and we brave the 25 yards of dog day humidity that separate us from the banquet hall. It's totally worth it.

You see, Avery has been, to say the least, less-than-cooperative in the potty training process. When it comes to a full diaper (of the number 1 or 2 variety), he simply doesn't care. Embarrassment is a weak motivator for him. One can't honorably (or legally) spank a child for accidents, so negative reinforcement is out of the question. With discomfort and discipline off of the table, positive reinforcement is our only option, and we are willing to apply it liberally.

This why we find ourselves going through the turn-style guarded looking glass that separates earth from Chuck's pizza wonderland: Avery pooped in the potty.

Our trip to Chuck's offers me two valuable thoughts to marinate in:

1. Parenting is hard by nature, but our attitudes can make it so much harder. Courtney and I have been putting a lot of pressure on ourselves, and by extension Avery, to get stuff (such as potty training) right. Pressure can be suffocating. It's hard to live, much less thrive, when we constantly fear the consequences of letting others and ourselves down. I'm not saying that expectations are a bad thing, they certainly have a proper place. But we have to learn to be comfortable with our own and others' imperfections. Parenting is a process, a long and hard process. When we constantly expect nothing less than perfection the first time, when we suppose that we are exempt from the process, we will be met with failure and frustration. Our frustration is a burden that our spouses and our children should not have to bear. I pray that all of us will learn to parent failure with grace and success with celebration. Which leads to my second thought...
2. A little celebration is good, a lot of celebration is great. Positive reinforcement is obviously always a good idea, but there is a wide gap between a tootsie pop and trip to Chuck E. Cheese's. Courtney got an immediate response when she challenged Avery, "If you poop on the potty right now, we will go to Chuck E. Cheese's." You guys, the Prodigal Son's father didn't just give his wayward son a pat on the back when he returned. His homecoming party wasn't just a cupcake with a single candle. The father celebrated EXTRAVAGANTLY when his son pleased him. We too should celebrate our children's successes as extravagantly as our means allow. Avery's trip to Chuck's lit his face and his heart up. I'm confident that tonight has been a huge stride in our potty training process. We shouldn't spoil our kids, but they should feel CELEBRATED when they please us. [As a side note, I want to point out that the Prodigal Son's brother could and should have enjoyed and embraced the father's extravagance. In our story, Avery's accomplishment is being celebrated but Atticus (his 2 year old brother) enjoys the fruits of the celebration along side his brother. Point: We should celebrate others being celebrated, jealousy is poisonous.]

After an hour and a half of pizza and arcading, we turn seventy-two tickets in for two Airheads and two Tootsie Rolls. We pass back through the turn-style into the parking lot, open the candy, place it in tiny hands that wait impatiently, load the car up, and drive off in to the August night. An untidy house, full of unfolded laundry and strewn out toys, awaits us. I won't be frustrated over our imperfect house, it's a minor thing. Tonight we celebrated our boy, and it was totally worth it.